Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Black Friday (revised)



Black Friday

© the author 2014


[A word of explanation may be in order for readers outside the United States. Our national holiday of Thanksgiving falls on the fourth Thursday of November. Schools, offices, and many businesses are also closed the following day, which means that a large percentage of the population has the day free. Traditionally this Friday is the start of the Christmas shopping season, and stores have special sales on this day. The discounts on high-priced goods can be quite large, and throngs of shoppers clog stores with the best sales. It is known as Black Friday because the high volume of sales on that day generates lots of income, and for many retail businesses the day means that they will have a profitable year—or “be in the black”; hence Black Friday. Comments are appreciated. You can leave them here or email them to me at z119z2000@yahoo.com. Thanks.]


“Mom, it’s Tyler. I’m still in Boston at the office. I just got a text from the airline. My flight’s been cancelled because of the weather. We’re having a freak snowstorm, and Logan Airport’s closed until tomorrow morning at least. O’Hare’s still digging out from earlier today, and it’s already filled with people trying to find flights. They rescheduled me for a flight on Saturday, but I have to go through Dallas, and the flight won’t get into Denver until early evening, and I have to leave the next day, so . . .”

“Oh, Tyler.” The disappointment in his mother’s voice was clear. “Are you sure you can’t get here? Have you tried the other airlines? And we’ve invited Reverend Hansen’s niece to meet you, and your sister brought home one of her roommates just to meet you. The girls will be so disappointed.”

“Mom, it’s not just Boston. The entire East Coast’s shut down. All the airports are closed. Nobody’s flying, and I’m one of thousands who have to reschedule. I’m still at work, but they’re telling us to leave early. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me just to get back to my apartment. The subway’s running slow because of the storm, and I’ve got my suitcase and . . . .” It took another ten minutes of conversation to get his mother to accept that he wouldn’t be coming home. Tyler could detect that she suspected him of exaggerating the severity of the storm just to get out of spending Thanksgiving with his family. She wasn’t happy when he hung up. She still had a lot to say to him—and he knew she would take the time to say it in her next phone calls.

Even when everything went right and he made all the connections, Thanksgiving travel was always a bitch. It seemed like he barely made it to his parents’ home before he needed to start back. He had to work a full day on Wednesday, which meant rushing to the airport to catch a flight on Wednesday evening. By the time he had changed flights in Chicago and finally made it to Denver, it would be almost midnight. Then he had to rent a car and drive for another two hours, the last forty miles over back-country roads, to reach his family’s ranch outside Bryant in the northeast corner of the state. On Sunday he had to leave early in the morning to be back in time for work on Monday.

All for what—his mother’s dry turkey, a lecture from his father on what he was or was not doing with his life, awkward conversations with the unmarried women his relatives invited to meet him.  Not to mention trekking through crowded airports, playing Russian roulette with the weather and risking delayed or cancelled flights, sleeping on the lumpy sofa in the living room (his brother and his wife and their children got the spare bedrooms), no alcohol, no sex, giving the same answers to the same questions from all his relatives, screaming kids, his brother’s bragging about his successes. It just wasn’t worth it, but every year his parents insisted that he make the trip so that he could “be with us on the holiday.” They always pretended their sole concern was to keep him from being alone on the holiday, but neither of them ever hesitated to play the guilt card. (“Your grandmother was saying just the other day how much she’s looking forward to your visit,” etc.)

Tyler felt almost thankful for the snowstorm. He hadn’t lied to his mother. The storm and the resulting snarl in travel would be on the nightly news in Colorado, and his family would know that he had a good excuse not to be with them. And, just once in his life, it would be good to hole up in his apartment and relax for four days without having to think about other people. The only interruptions would be the obligatory phone call tomorrow to his family to express his regrets for missing Thanksgiving with them (he figured it would take about thirty minutes to say sorry to everyone) and, weather permitting, his daily run. The gym was out—there had been a sign on the door for a week announcing that it would be closed on Thanksgiving so that “our employees can spend the day with their loved ones,” but he could make up for the lost time on Friday and the weekend. For once, he would have a real vacation.

The subway trip back to his apartment took three times as long as usual. Because of the storm, the trains were even more crowded than they usually were at rush hour. The first Green C train at Park Street was so crowded that there wasn’t room for him and his suitcase, and he had to wait another twenty minutes for the next one. When the train finally emerged above ground at the St. Paul’s Street stop in Brookline, it was immediately surrounded by swirling snow. Passengers getting off had to wade through several inches of dirty slush. The traffic jam on Beacon Street meant that the train often had to wait minutes at the stoplights for the cross traffic to clear. It was nearly 7:30 by the time Tyler made it back to his apartment. A quick check of his refrigerator and cupboards confirmed what he already knew. He had no food.

Which is why Tyler found himself standing in line at the deli counter in the supermarket just after 8:00. The fourteen people in line ahead of him looked like they were in the same straits as Tyler. Alone on the holiday, too lazy or too inexperienced to cook for themselves, one after another they stepped to the counter and asked for “one of those Thanksgiving dinner specials.” 

According to the sign on the wall behind the counter, the special included “two slices of Turkey breast meat with all the trimmings, $6.95” A drumstick could be substituted for the white meat for two dollars more. Cardboard cutouts of turkeys and pilgrims carrying blunderbusses and axes surrounded the sign. Presumably the blunderbusses had been used to kill the turkeys for the dinners, and the axes to chop off their heads. Displayed on the counter was an open Styrofoam box divided into compartments. The largest compartment held the turkey slices. Arranged around it in the smaller sections were stuffing, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Gravy was slathered over the meat, stuffing, and potatoes. The person who had prepared the sample must have been in a hurry; there were dribbles of gravy over the green beans as well. Next to the box were a small container with cranberry sauce and a triangular box with a piece of pumpkin pie.

A table behind the counter was stacked with prepackaged brown paper sacks, with the tops folded over and stapled shut. Each had a label with “Thanksgiving Deli Special” and a barcode so that it could be scanned quickly at the checkout. The line moved quickly. The customer in front barely uttered “Thanksgiving special” before the clerk had swiveled around, picked up one of the sacks, and then swiveled back and handed it over. The clerk’s bored wish of “Happy Thanksgiving” was perfunctory. She sounded as if she had already said it a thousand times that day.

Tyler counted the number of people ahead of him in the line and the number of sacks left on the table. He came up three short. Unless someone in the back was preparing more “Thanksgiving Deli Specials,” he wasn’t going to have the traditional meal.

“Sorry, folks. That’s it. We’re sold out.” The clerk sounded thrilled to make that announcement. Her day was over. She turned away, snapped off the lights in the deli section, peeled off the plastic gloves she was wearing, and threw them in the trash bin before scurrying off. She ignored the attempts of the woman standing at the head of the line to order something else from the deli cases.

Tyler got one of the last frozen TV dinners left in the freezer section. The store was out of turkey. He would have meatloaf for Thanksgiving. Luckily the liquor store was better stocked. He was able to buy three twelve-packs of beer. Not his usual brand, but, hey, beer was beer.

*****

Thanksgiving was rather of a blur. When Tyler awoke on Friday morning, he found himself lying half-undressed on his bed. His throat was so dry it felt cracked, and his head throbbed, He remembered having his first beer at noon. He thought he had had a few more after that. At some point he had been watching a football game, but he couldn’t recall what teams had been playing. One side had been wearing red—maybe. That might have been a game on some other day. He wasn’t sure if he had eaten anything. It was all sort of hazy.

He dragged himself into the bathroom and under the shower. It didn’t help. He needed a cup of coffee. Several cups. He rummaged through the stock of cans and packages in the kitchen cabinets and found an old jar of instant. Only a powdering of dust remained in the jar. He would have to go out. At least he knew now that he had eaten something. The aluminum tray from the TV dinner lay crumpled on the kitchen counter. All that remained were some smears of gravy and a few lima beans. Also strewn across the counter were the reasons for his dry mouth and his headache—eleven partially crushed beer cans.

He needed coffee. It was just past 6:30. Surely the Starbucks at Cleveland Circle would be open by now, even if was the day after Thanksgiving. If not, there was that 24-hour convenience store at the end of the block. It never closed, and it always had coffee. Tyler cocked an eye out the window. It was just getting light. It looked cold, but at least it had stopped snowing. Cold might even be good. The shock would help wake him up. That and the coffee. And after coffee, if the sidewalks had been shoveled, he would go for a run and then to the gym. That would cook out all the alcohol out of his system and clear his head. He pulled on a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants. As he was going out the door, he noticed his sunglasses on the table by the door. He grabbed them. His eyes needed protection against sunlight reflecting off the snow.

It was colder out than he had anticipated. He almost turned around to go back and get a pair of gloves, but then he decided that he would be all right. It wasn’t that far, and he could cut through the alley behind the drugstore and save a couple of minutes.

He had never been down the alley before. During the day it was always packed with trucks making deliveries to the stores and restaurants that backed onto it. Early on the morning following Thanksgiving, it was deserted. Halfway down a light attached to the wall of one of the buildings illuminated a sunken areaway, but that was the only sign the alley was ever used.

Six or seven steps led down into the areaway. Tyler glanced into it, just to make sure no one was lurking there. To his surprise, there was a shop window filled with small doll-like figures and sign reading “Black Friday Sale.” There was an “Open” sign on the door, and the shop was lit up. He could see the shadow of someone moving around inside. The incongruity made Tyler laugh. A Black Friday sale in a small shop down an alley. Who would ever see it and visit the shop? He had lived in this neighborhood for three years, he had walked past the alley several hundred times, and yet he had never suspected that there might be a shop back here. It must be the owner’s idea of a joke.

He leaned over the railing at the top of the areaway and peered into the shop. Now that he examined the figures more closely, he could see that they were dressed in a variety of action hero costumes. The bodies of the figures were very lifelike. Tyler didn’t recognize any of the characters, but then he didn’t pay much attention to that sort of thing. His nephews were fanatics, however. Something like this would make ideal Christmas gifts for them. The clerk would undoubtedly be able to tell him what characters were popular now and advise him what to buy.

Tyler hesitated. It was early, but the sign did say the shop was open. Maybe he should come back later. But it would be great to get that bit of Christmas shopping out of the way. And he was sure to be the only customer in the store. It wouldn’t take long to have a look. He walked down the steps and tried the door. A bell jingled overhead when he opened it. He stuck his head in and said, “Excuse me. I saw the sign. Are you open?”

Just as he was speaking, a man’s voice called out from the back, “Come on in. I’ll be with you in a second. I’m just getting a cup of coffee. Can I offer you one?”

That was all that Tyler needed to hear. Coffee and maybe a solution to the annual problem of finding appropriate gifts for two nephews he barely knew. He stepped all the way in and closed the door behind himself. “I’d love one. Thanks.”

“Milk? Sugar? Have a look around. Coffee’s almost ready. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“Thanks. Black for me. You’re a real lifesaver. You’ve no idea how much I need a cup of coffee.”

The shelves were filled with hundreds of figures. Each was a foot or so high. The molding of the faces and bodies was incredibly detailed. Tyler picked one up. It was heavier than he expected—and warmer. The body had the pliant hardness of muscled flesh. Even the hair looked real. It fell realistically away from the scalp when he tilted the figure to the side. The costume on the figure was made of cloth. It wasn’t painted onto the plastic or whatever material had been used to make the figure. It hugged the body like Spandex. The figure appeared to be naked beneath the costume. The muscles were clearly outlined by the tight costume. Tyler took a closer look. If he was any judge, the figure was “going commando.” Tiny cock and balls were visible beneath the Spandex. Well, not so tiny—Tyler corrected himself—in proportion to the rest of the body. He turned the figure over and pushed the cape to the side. The tights were rightly named. They clung to the figure’s ass, and the seam disappeared into the crack.

Maybe, Tyler thought, these won’t be so appropriate for his nephews. He could imagine what his sister-in-law would say. She already made certain that the nephews were never left alone in a room with their gay uncle. She’d probably think Tyler was trying to convert them. He did have to admit, however, that the doll he was holding was a powerful argument for the beauty of the male body.

“Here you are.” A bulky man in his forties—Tyler assumed he was the owner of the store—maneuvered his way through the curtained door at the back of the room holding two mugs of coffee. “No milk, no sugar.” He held out the cup in his right hand. The man looked like the type of nerd who would run a store devoted to selling action figures. The stereotypical geek getting on in years but still devoted to fantasies of muscular men with superpowers fighting other muscular men with superpowers.

“Thanks. I really need this.” Tyler placed the figure back on the shelf. “I can’t it over how lifelike these are. They must be molded from life. Where are they made?”

“Here. I make all of them myself. I have several basic models. They can be dressed in a variety of ways—whatever you want really. I can’t reproduce the costumes of action heroes on TV and movies. I’m not licensed to do that, but most people want something like the clothes on Sam--the figure you were looking at. You know, the usual form-fitting body suit and a cape.”

The man made Tyler feel uncomfortable. After he had handed Tyler the cup of coffee, he had stepped back, and, as he spoke, he examined Tyler slowly from head to foot. Tyler felt like he was being scrutinized under a magnifying glass. But it wasn’t the usual gay cruising look. It felt more like . . . what? Some memory. If he hadn’t drunk so much yesterday, his mind wouldn’t be so fuzzy. He took a gulp of coffee. Then it came to him. It was the same calculating look Mr. Caldwater, who ran the men’s clothing shop in Bryant, gave his customers. Mr. Caldwater could look at you and know your size. He never had to take your measure. This man seemed to have the same ability. It was vaguely embarrassing to be stared at like that. He had to say something to direct the man’s attention away.

“They’re incredible. What are they made out of? Some sort of plastic?”

“Yeah, something like that.” The man smiled to himself. “It’s a special formula I’ve devised. It’s a trade secret. Sorry. Don’t mean to sound mysterious, but I don’t want to give away my methods. That wouldn’t be good business. I have lots of competitors who would pay well to know my secrets. You’ve no idea what some of them have done in an attempt to learn how I make my toys. They’re really quite unique. Did you notice how flexible the figures are?”

The man sat his mug down on the counter and picked up one of the figures. “Here. Try this one. You’ll see. Go ahead. Move the arms and legs and twist the torso. Don’t worry. You won’t break it.”

Tyler gingerly moved one of the figure’s arms. He almost dropped it in surprise. “Jeez, that’s amazing.” He maneuvered the arm back to its original position. “The bicep flexes just like on a real arm.”

“Oh, yeah, All the muscles move realistically.” A note of pride crept into the man’s voice.

“These are amazing. How long have you been here? I didn’t know your shop existed.”

“I’m open only by special appointment. Today’s an exception. Most of my business is done over the Internet. I have customers all over the world. I don’t really have any walk-in trade to speak of. Today’s a special sale for some of my local customers. I texted them inviting them to preview my new collection of models starting at 2:00. It will be crowded here this afternoon. I just came in early to get everything ready.”

Tyler nodded and looked around. “Uh, one thing. I was thinking of giving these as Christmas presents to my nephews. They watch all the cartoons and action movies, but they’re only six and eight. These figures may be too adult for them. Do you have any that are a little less lifelike? I mean not so , , , maybe not so anatomically correct?”

“No.” The man shook his head. “Sorry. These aren’t really toys for children. I could maybe put something like a jockstrap with a cup over the groin to hide the genitals, but if your nephews undressed the figures, they would find a working set of cock and balls?”

“Working?” Tyler laughed. “That makes it sound almost like they could have an erection.”

The man nodded yes. “Yep. They can. As you noted, they are very true to life. Of course, on small figures like these, the erections aren’t impressive, but many of my customers prefer that. My clients who think bigger is better find the larger models more than satisfactory in that department.”

Tyler looked around at the hundreds of figures on the shelves. Some of them did have erections. Odd that he hadn’t noticed that before. He could have sworn that all those cocks had been limp when he first walked in. Surely, he would have noticed the swollen cocks tenting those elastic tights. He leaned in to take a closer look at the figure directly before him on the display shelf—Was that a tiny wet spot on the front of his briefs? “Larger models?”

“Yes, all the sample display figures are one-sixth size. In the back, I have half- and full-size figures. Within limits, I can make each model any size the customer wants. I have one customer who has a collection of miniatures, none more than four inches tall. The largest figure I’ve made was seven feet tall. That’s the tallest I can make with the 3D printers I have now. Of course, it was a special order and very expensive. More coffee?”

Tyler looked down at his cup in surprise. He hadn’t realized that he had drunk the entire cup.“Oh, thanks. I would like another cup. It’s great coffee by the way.”

“It’s my special blend. I prepare it myself. Why don’t you step into the back? I keep the larger models back there. I’ll get you another cup while you look at them.” The man held the curtain back so that Tyler could step through. “Go ahead. They’re in the room at the end on the right. I’ll just be a second.”

The figures in the room on the right were housed in brightly lit, glass display cases. As the man had promised, each was full-size. Unlike the figures in the front room, all were nude. The right arm of the figure nearest the door was stretched out as if to shake Tyler’s hand. He reminded Tyler of a gay porn star whose photos had fueled many of his teenage fantasies. Seeing the figure made him wonder what had happened to the guy. What was his name? God, he used to know that. He couldn’t remember anything this morning. The owner had better hurry with that cup of coffee. He was still half asleep.

Mark something, wasn’t that it? Every time the guy appeared in a new video, dozens of pictures and excerpts from the videos had immediately been uploaded to the Net. For a couple of years, not a week had gone by without new pictures of him appearing. And then suddenly, he had just disappeared.  But his pictures were still around. Tyler saw one occasionally.

There were wisps of hair across the figure’s knuckles, and his forearms were covered with a thick brown pelt. Tyler peered through the glass. Each hair seemed to be individually molded and attached. The upper arms were hairless; revealing the veins twisting over the surface of the biceps. In every detail, the figure resembled a living man frozen into place. The face had slight wrinkles around the eyes and the mouth, and there were even a few hairs growing out of the nostrils. The pecs were sharply defined and hung over six-pack abs. The nipples were stiff. A faint treasure trail led downward between the abs. Tyler couldn’t prevent his eyes from staring at the man’s genitals. The cock was uncut, and the foreskin pulled back to expose the head. The right ball hung down a good inch lower than the left one. The figure languidly rotated its hips forward slightly so that the cock and balls moved back and forth.

Tyler jumped back. He had to have imagined that. Then the cock moved again. It looked like it was beginning to swell and grow larger. No. Tyler shook his head in disbelief. It couldn’t be. That was crazy. All that alcohol he had drunk yesterday was giving him hallucinations. He had to get control of himself. He’d have a hard-on before long if he didn’t rein in his imagination.

“Would you like a closer look at Mike? He’s one of my most popular models.” The man handed Tyler his cup of coffee. “Here, drink this while I get him ready.”

Tyler gulped down the coffee while the man unlocked the door of the display case and slid the figure out. “Like all of the figures, the life-size models are fully functional. Let me demonstrate.” The man grasped “Mike’s” cock and stroked it slowly. “Watch closely.”

The man’s remark was unnecessary. Tyler couldn’t take his eyes off Mike’s cock as it quickly grew erect. “Would you like to touch it?” The man stepped to one side and motioned Tyler forward.

The cock was rigid and hot. It throbbed in Tyler’s hands. When Tyler squeezed it, Mike arched his back and thrust his hips forward. Tyler suddenly found himself embraced. Mike smiled and then leaned forward to kiss Tyler. His tongue parted Tyler’s lips and insinuated itself into Tyler’s mouth. One part of Tyler’s mind concluded that Mike had to be a real person. Not even the best robot could feel this lifelike. Mike was so hard, and the muscles were so alive beneath his hands as he ran them over Mike’s back and down onto his buttocks. The other part of Tyler’s mind decided that it didn’t matter what Mike really was. Human or robot, Mike knew what he was doing. He was pushing all of Tyler’s buttons.

Mike placed his hands on Tyler’s shoulders, guiding him down to his knees. Tyler couldn’t help himself. He leaned forward and ran his tongue over Mike’s cock. It even smelled like a real cock. He took it into his mouth and began sucking on it. Tyler could sense Mike becoming more and more excited. He took the cock all the way into his mouth, sucking on it harder and harder. Tyler lost track of time. It might have been minutes, it might have been hours. He couldn’t think of anything but worshipping Mike’s cock.

Off to one side, the shopowner was opening another of the display cases. Out of the corner of his eye, Tyler glimpsed the man walking another figure past him and then around behind him. He felt strong hands grasp him by the hips and pull his lower body up to a standing position. Tyler found himself bent forward at the waist with Mike’s cock in his mouth. Then his sweatpants and briefs were pushed down past his knees. Tyler tried to pull away from Mike’s cock and look around to see what was going on. But he wasn’t given time to protest. Hot hands grasped his butt cheeks and spread them apart. A wet tongue began rimming him. He moaned. Mike’s cock was repeatedly pushed deep into his throat as the person behind him plunged his tongue again and again into Tyler’s ass. Jesus, how long was the guy’s tongue? Nobody had ever rimmed like this before. It felt like there was a good inch of tongue up his ass.

Tyler didn’t understand what was happening. His mind refused to process it. He was dreaming. That was the only explanation he could think of. But it didn’t matter. If this was a dream, he could only hope for more of the same. All he had wanted was to have a cup of coffee and maybe buy some Christmas presents, and now he was the filling in a meat sandwich.

The man behind him withdrew his tongue from Tyler’s ass and stood up. Tyler barely had time to register what was happening before the man thrust his cock into Tyler. Mike and the other man began pumping in unison. Their cocks grew even bigger. The man fucking him thrust into him so hard that Tyler had to grab Mike by the ass to keep himself from falling over. The last thing he wanted to do was to pull off the other man’s cock. It felt so good. And he didn’t want to stop sucking Mike. God, it was a great cock. It fit his throat perfectly. The muscles in Mike’s ass contracted and relaxed as Mike rammed his cock even deeper into Tyler. Tyler’s mind shut down in the fury of the men’s assault on his body.

Mike cried out and wrapped his hands around Tyler’s head, pressing Tyler’s face into his crotch. Tyler couldn’t breathe, but he didn’t care. The hair surrounding Mike’s cock was as soft and silky as his muscles were hard. Mike’s hair quickly grew wet with the juices foaming out of Tyler’s mouth.

The man behind him wrapped his arms around Tyler’s waist and lifted him up so that he could shove his cock even deeper into Tyler. The move forced Tyler’s mouth down onto Mike’s cock. The two men began fucking him even faster.

Their breathing grew ragged. Tyler couldn’t distinguish their grunts and cries from his own. Somewhere someone said, “On the count of ten. One  . . . two . . . three . . . .” As the numbers mounted, the two men’s cocks grew even larger in Tyler’s throat and ass. Tyler couldn’t think. All he could do was experience the force of their cocks tearing into him.

On the count of ten, both men came. Mike’s cum shot down Tyler’s throat. His mouth suddenly filled with cum. He swallowed it greedily as he kept sucking on Mike’s cock. He felt the heat of the other man’s cum in his ass.

Gradually the fucking subsided into a few spasmodic jabs. Mike gave a final thrust and then pulled out. He wiped his cock across Tyler’s mouth, leaving a trail of cum on Tyler’s lips. Tyler slumped to the floor when the man behind him released his body.

“Here. Let me clean you up.” The shopowner dabbed at Tyler’s face with a washcloth. “As you can see, Mike and Sean are entirely realistic. They can do anything a human male can do. There, at least your face is clean. I can’t do much about your clothes. I sponged off as much as I could, but they need to be washed. You were drooling and leaking quite a bit.”

Tyler was sitting in a chair. He couldn’t remember how he had gotten there. The last thing he recalled was feeling the heat of Mike’s cum on his lips.

The man saw Tyler looking around in confusion. “This is my workroom. It’s where I make the figures. I will demonstrate the process. Just slip out of your clothes.”

Tyler’s hands grabbed the bottom of his sweatshirt and began pulling it up and off his body. He didn’t try to stop them. The thought that his lack of resistance was strange flitted through his mind, but it seemed unimportant. He bent over and unlaced his running shoes and then peeled off his sweatpants.

“Just lie down on this table. Face up.”

Tyler complied. His mind was hazy. He knew that he was behaving oddly, but he also felt a warm glow of pleasure in obeying the man. His headache had disappeared, and his mouth was no longer dry. Maybe later he could play with Mike and Sean again—or some of the other guys. There were dozens of glass cases in the room he had been in, and each of them held a man. Some of them had watched as Sean and Mike had fucked him. Could that be right? He thought he remembered seeing one of the figures stroking himself. His mind felt so blurred. He wasn’t thinking straight. Maybe something had been wrong with that TV dinner. He felt so hot. Did food poisoning give one hallucinations and a fever? He felt so heavy and so tired. He would just rest for a while. Then he would get up.

The man put on rubber gloves and then picked up a plastic sack with a tube leading from the bottom, like an IV drip bag. It held a clear liquid. “The drug in the coffee is one part of the process. It’s had plenty of time to circulate throughout your body and mind by now. It helps you relax and makes you receptive to the other drugs. Mike and Sean artificially inseminated you with another drug. This—” The man held up the plastic sack. “This contains a different chemical. It’s administered through an IV. This is just the preliminary treatment. Once all these drugs have had time to diffuse through your system, you’ll get a different batch of chemicals intravenously. And then I’ll immerse you in a bath of chemicals to coat every part of your body and complete the process. Don’t worry. You won’t feel anything in another minute or so. It doesn’t take very long. The chemicals will preserve your body in its present state so that it never decays. They will also work on your mind and make you docile and malleable and anxious to please. Your reactions to your partners will be so intuitive you’ll be a perfect lover for everyone who buys a copy of you. Just as Mike and Sean did for you a few minutes ago, you’ll adjust automatically to your partner’s needs. When the chemicals have finished working, I’ll scan your body so that I can produce other copies of you in different sizes on the 3D printers. I think you’ll become one of my most popular models. It really was a stroke of luck that you came into the shop so early today. You’ll be ready in time for my sale this afternoon. I won’t be able to prepare a special costume for you, but I don’t think my clients will complain. Always time for that later.”

The man swabbed the inner surface of Tyler’s elbow with alcohol and then inserted an IV shunt into the vein. He taped the needle in place and then hung the plastic bag of liquid on a stand before attaching the tubing to the shunt. He patted Tyler’s chest reassuringly. Tyler smiled back at him mindlessly.

*****

“Gentlemen, I’m pleased to introduce the latest addition to my 2014 Holiday Collection. It’s called Tyler.” The man pulled aside the curtain concealing the display case. “Tyler is the newest model in our All-American Boy line. Just to give you a bit of background, he grew up on a ranch. As you can see, he has the type of rangy body developed by physical labor and high school sports. He also exercised regularly at a gym. He was 28 years old when I harvested him. Of course, like all our models, Tyler is fully functional. He is currently available in any of our standard sizes and can be costumed as you wish. Special orders for other sizes are also possible—within the usual limits, of course. The original model has already been sold, but his specs are stored and he can be reproduced on our printers. And today, he can be yours at the special Black Friday sale price.”


Monday, August 11, 2014

Before and After

Illustrations for a story about sudden and miraculous muscle growth



Thursday, June 26, 2014

The Basement



The Basement

z119z

© 2014 by the author


I’m afraid of the basement. It terrifies me. There, I’ve admitted it. According to this website I found, “Acknowledging your fears is the first step on the path to owning your fears.” Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t really feel any less frightened. It’s silly, but even thinking about the basement is making my palms sweat and my heart beat faster. The site says that writing a detailed account of your fears helps you “understand the dimensions of your phobia.” Anyway, this is my attempt at understanding my fear of the basement and, with any luck, conquering it and purging it from my life.

I’d like to forget about the basement completely, just erase it from my mind, but the more I try to forget it, the more it forces itself into my consciousness. Sometimes it’s the only thing I can think about. It’s getting to be an obsession. It’s like I’m both attracted to the basement and repelled by it at the same time, almost like I’m enjoying my fear of it. I’m spending hours trying not to think about it. It’s interfering with my work, and when I come home, it monopolizes my thoughts. So I hope this works. If it doesn’t, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

The way things are now, I would avoid the basement completely if I could. I have to go down there because that’s where the laundry room is. If there were a laundromat nearby, I would use it. I’ve even been thinking about taking my dirty clothes to a dry cleaner. If I could afford to do that, that’s what I’d do. I know it’s crazy and irrational to feel this way. I tell myself it’s just a basement. I’ve been in basements before, and they never bothered me. It’s just insane for me to fear this particular basement. I know that, but I can’t help myself. The minute I think of the basement, I start shaking, my mouth gets dry, and my stomach starts churning.

Luckily, the laundry room is just opposite the elevator, and I can do what I have to do and leave quickly. Still I get nervous about washing my clothes—scared stiff, to be honest. I put it off until I can’t delay any longer. Then I get everything ready so that I don’t have to spend any more time than necessary in the basement. I double-check to make sure I have enough change for the machines and that I have the soap.

The weirdness starts as soon as the elevator doors open. The lights in the basement are on some sort of motion or noise detectors. When the doors open, the only illumination in the hallway is the light in the elevator, and that’s not too bright. You have to step into the hallway before the overhead light in the corridor outside the elevator comes on. It’s a fluorescent light—all the lights in the basement are—and there’s always a delay. There’s only a single fluorescent tube in each fixture, and they must be old because they flicker off and on for several seconds before they finally catch for good. Even then the light is weak, and they make this loud, annoying buzz. It’s almost painful it’s so loud. It grabs my attention and drives all the thoughts from my mind.

The laundry room light works the same way. You have to step into the room before it comes on. By the time I get my clothes into the machine, the light in the corridor has shut off. When I leave and punch the button for the elevator, the light in the laundry room goes off. It’s like being in a dim spotlight all the time. You can’t see down the hallway. There’s absolutely no light coming from outside, and the light from the ceiling fixtures doesn’t spill very far down the hallway. After a few feet, there’s just total blackness. But at least I don’t have to venture further than that down the corridor. It’s really the corridor more than the basement itself that bothers me.

I only had to go down the corridor once. When I moved in, the rental agent didn’t have a key for the mailbox, and she told me to get it from the super. There’s one of those intercoms in the lobby with a speaker attached to it for contacting the super. I pressed the call button and after a few seconds, there was a squawk from the speaker. I figured it was the super, or maybe his wife—you couldn’t guess the sex of the person speaking from the noise. Anyway, I press the talk button and tell the person on the other end what I needed. There’s more static in reply, but I hear “basement” and “end of corridor.” So I take the elevator to the basement—the stairwell is locked on the lobby side. I already know about the lights, because the rental agent showed me the laundry room.

What I’m not prepared for is how long the corridor is, or how long it seems. The elevator’s at one end. I get off and start walking down the hallway. The lights blink on. They’re about twenty feet apart, and I barely trip the next one in line when the one behind me shuts off. The hallway seems endless. I know it can’t be any longer than the hallway on my floor, but I swear it feels three-four times as long. Maybe it’s the weird lights going on and off that makes it seem longer. You just can’t see that far ahead, or back, and it’s like you’re walking down this endless corridor because you can’t tell how far you have to go to reach the end. It’s also much narrower than the hallways on the floors above. There are lots of pipes overhead and electrical conduits along the walls. All the doors are closed and look locked. Someone has stenciled things like “Boiler” and “Utilities” on some of the doors. I can hear machinery behind some of the doors, and there’s a sound of water running through pipes. There’s also that loud, annoying buzzing noise coming from the lights.

The oddest thing is the smell. It gets stronger and stronger the further I go down the corridor. It’s a heavy sweet smell with lots of spicy overtones as if someone was burning incense. I realize that I’ve smelled it elsewhere in the building—in the elevator and the hallway, even in my apartment. But it’s a lot stronger down in the basement. If I had to breathe that for long, I would get dizzy.

When I get to the end of the hallway, a door opens even before I can knock and a man steps out. “You the guy looking for a key?”

“Yeah. I’m Brad Wilkins. I’ve just moved into 1414.” I hold out my hand.

The man looks at it for a moment and then shakes his head. “Sorry, I’ve just been working on some plumbing. Haven’t had a chance to wash my hands yet. I’m Vincent. Mr. Vincent. Let’s get your key.”

Mr. Vincent steps out into the hallway. He’s not a small man. I’m five-seven, and he’s only a couple of inches taller, but he’s huge. He’s wearing an old sweatshirt. The arms bulge. It looks like the sleeves of the sweatshirt have been inflated. He’s so wide across the shoulders that he has to step sideways through the door. The neck of the sweatshirt has been ripped open to expose the first few inches of his chest. The line between his pecs must be three inches deep. He’s the kind of guy you would expect to be covered with a thick pelt of fur, but his head is shaved and what I can see of his flesh is hairless. I feel even smaller than I usually do when confronted by someone that big. I have to step back so that he can get past me. He doesn’t push me out of the way or anything—not physically at least. But it’s like there’s a wave of pressure emanating from his body that shoves me back against the wall of the corridor. It’s cold and damp in the basement, but I can feel the heat coming from his body. You know when you sit in front of a fire and the side of your body facing the fire gets so hot. It’s like that.

My heart kind of lurches, and I can suddenly hear the blood pulsing in my ears. My tongue feels too big for my mouth. My reaction confuses me. I have to fight down an impulse to run back to the elevator. It’s not that this guy Mr. Vincent is threatening me or anything like that. It’s just that something feels off about him. When I think about it later, it occurs to me that it may have been not only his size but his odd way of introducing himself as “Mr. Vincent.” Most guys introduce themselves as Joe or maybe Joe Smith—I mean, who tells someone else to call him “mister”? Maybe a school teacher talking to kids, but it’s not the way an adult introduces himself to another adult, is it? That and his refusal to shake hands. That was odd. When he said his hands were dirty, I looked at them. That’s sort of an automatic response, isn’t it? I mean, a guy tells you his hands are dirty—you look. But his hands weren’t dirty. If anything, they look scrubbed. The man could do surgery with those hands.

Mr. Vincent didn’t threaten me or attempt to dominate me. It was more like my body and mind responded to him at a very primal level. The reptile mind catalogued him as a danger, and for a second or so I felt this instinctual prompting to flee and get the hell away from him. Yet I also felt attracted to him, like I would be safe with him. Another part of my mind identified him as the leader, and I felt this urge to follow him.

This makes it sound like I devoted a lot of time to thinking about Mr. Vincent, but it all took just a couple of seconds. I’m just trying to reconstruct what happened and how I felt about it to understand the source of my fears about the basement.

Anyway, Mr. Vincent’s got one of those metal key rings that’s attached to a wire that coils inside a small box he wears on his belt, and as he walks past me, he pulls it out and selects a key from among the dozens on the ring.

“I’ve got what you need in my workroom.” He leads me back down the corridor to the third door on the right and unlocks it. The light flickers on. It appears to be the room where he stores his tools and equipment. There’s a beat-up workbench along the wall to the right of the door. Above it on the wall a collection of tools hangs from hooks inserted into the holes of a peg board. Someone has painted silhouettes of the tools in black on the board. Opposite the door are several metal shelving units containing jugs of cleaning stuff and paint cans and things like that. Mr. Vincent pulls open a drawer and takes out a small manila envelope. He opens the flap and shakes the envelope until a tiny key falls into the palm of his hand. “Here.” He holds it out to me. “While I’ve got you down here, let’s have you fill out the contact form—so I can reach you if I need to.” He attaches a piece of paper to a clipboard and hands it to me along with a pen.

To fill in the form, I have to step into the room. That’s when I notice this battered wooden door in the wall along the left-hand wall. There are traces of different layers of paint on the door—the top layer is white, but the paint is chipped and flaking and patches of red, green, and blue show through. The rest of the room and the walls of the corridor are all painted gray. That makes the door in the wall stand out even more. All the other doors along the corridor are made of metal and have regular locks, but this door is made of old wooden slats with cracks between them and is held shut by a large padlock threaded through a hasp.

I have to set the clipboard down on the workbench to fill it in. It’s the only flat open surface in the room. Mr. Vincent stands next to me on my left and reads what I’m putting down as I write it. Admittedly the room is small and there’s nowhere else he could stand, but it feels like he’s closer than he needs to be—too close for my comfort anyway. I swear there are goosebumps on the left side of my body. Again I feel the heat coming from his body. That side of my body is hotter than the other side. He just looms over me. I want to step away from him, but there’s no room.

The form asks for my cell phone number and my number at work and my email, as well as the address and phone number of my next-of-kin. I put down my parents’ information. He glances at the form and says, “You from California?”

“It’s where my parents live. I haven’t lived there since I came to Boston four years ago.”

I expect the usual questions about Do I miss California? and How I am surviving the snow and cold weather? Everybody in Boston acts like I have to be crazy to have left Pasadena and that I must be running around in shorts and a T-shirt during blizzards, but he just nods and asks, “Everything all right with your apartment?” He takes the clipboard from me and detaches the form. His hand brushes mine. I think he means for that to happen. He still standing close to me, and he looks me right in the eye. It’s like a form of pressure pushing against me, making me smaller.

I have to clear my throat before I can speak. It’s so stupid. It’s like I’m a kid again called up to the front of the class to be reprimanded by the teacher.

I tell him about the drip in the shower, and he says he’ll get to it the next day. He’s as good as his word. When I get back from the office the next day, there’s a note on my door saying that he’s replaced the washer in the shower and installed a better shower head.

I didn’t need the note to tell me that he had been in my apartment. That day in the basement I identified the source of the smell that permeates the building. It’s his aftershave. He must use a ton of it. He dowses himself in it.

You can always tell when Mr. Vincent’s been in the elevator recently or in the hallway on my floor from the lingering smell of his aftershave. Oddly enough, I never see him, but his handiwork is much in evidence. The public areas are always spotless and polished. It makes sense that I never see him—I’m at work during the day, which is probably when he does most of his work around the building. But then I never see anyone else either. I’m on the top floor—the fourteenth (it’s actually the thirteenth, but the numbers skip from twelve to fourteen). So you’d think I would see other people in the elevator or the lobby, but I never do. If I didn’t know better, I might think that I was the only tenant in the building. I’m not even sure Mr. Vincent lives here. Maybe he just comes in during the day.

I almost never hear anyone else either. In most apartment buildings, you can hear the sound from TVs and music through the doors or water running through the pipes, but here you never do. The only time I hear anyone is late at night. Then it’s only a distant sound of voices, like from a TV or a radio. I suppose the sound is coming from the unit below mine or next door. It might even be from the street, although the windows keep most noise out. It’s almost comforting to hear someone else talking as I go to sleep. Whoever it is must stay up late. No matter what time I wake up during the night, I can always hear the sound. Maybe the person listens to talk radio late at night.

The basement didn’t bother me at first. That’s another odd thing. The automatic lights struck me as strange, but cheapskate landlords aren’t unusual. If Vega Properties wants to save pennies on the electricity, it’s none of my business. I lived here for about six months before I noticed the first symptoms. I was headed down in the elevator to the laundry room one night, and I felt uneasy. Sort of tense and apprehensive, you know? I didn’t connect it with the basement. The feelings weren’t that strong, and I just shrugged them off. I put my clothes in the washing machine and headed back upstairs.

As I’m coming back down a half-hour later to put the clothes in the dryer, the feeling is stronger. I have a panic attack in the elevator. I don’t know what the matter is. When the doors open, I just can’t make myself get out. I push myself back into a corner and stare out at the black hallway. The washing machine has stopped, but other noises come from down the hall—a rhythmic pulsing sound and a high-pitched whine. There is an irregular knocking noise, the kind that steam radiators make when there’s an air bubble in the pipes—except that our building doesn’t have steam radiators. The smell of Mr. Vincent’s aftershave is especially strong, and the odor combined with the noise and the darkness alarms me even more.

After a few seconds, the elevator door closes. The elevator doesn’t move. I know that I should press the button to open the doors and walk across the hall and put my clothes in the dryer, but I’m shaking so hard that I can’t. I want to crouch down in a corner and hide. It’s that feeling that finally gets me to move. It strikes me as ridiculous. I’m still nervous, but I eventually calm down enough to laugh at myself for being foolish. I finally get out of the elevator and tend to my washing.

The next day I chalked it up to some sort of glitch in my mind. Something had triggered a memory of a dark place from my childhood, and I had overreacted.

It was about that time that the dream started—or at least when I became conscious of it. When I first noticed it, I had a strong impression that I had been having the dream for some time and had only now become aware of it. At first I had the dream a couple of times a week, but now I have it every night. It’s not the same every night, but several elements are always present.

It starts with a phone call. I’m in bed asleep, and my cell buzzes. At first I try to ignore it, but it won’t stop. And it doesn’t matter where I leave my phone. One night I even put it my briefcase and left the briefcase in the hall closet, which is as far away from my bed as I can get in my apartment, but I could still hear the phone. The longer the phone rings, the greater my need to answer it. That must sound funny, but if I try to resist answering, the tension builds up inside me until I jump out of bed and get the phone. I don’t want to answer it, but I need to answer it, if that makes any sense.

The message is always the same. “Come to the basement.” You would think with my feelings about the basement that the prospect of going to the basement would fill me with dread, but in the dream I really want to go to the basement. It’s more than a want actually. It’s like the phone. When it rings, I have this overwhelming need to answer it, and once I’m summoned, I have this overwhelming need to go to the basement. I can’t resist. I don’t even stop to get dressed. I’m in such a hurry that I don’t even bother to close the door. I just rush out into the hallway naked and run to the elevator. I’m not worried about meeting anybody.

When I get to the basement, I turn to the left and start walking down the corridor. The overhead lights switch on and off, like they were spotlights tracking my progress down the hallway. The smell of Mr. Vincent’s aftershave is really strong. It makes me feel lightheaded, like I’m buzzed from alcohol or drugs.

Now if I did any of this while I was awake, I’d be terrified. All the elements that frighten me are present—the basement, the crazy lights with their irritating buzz, Mr. Vincent’s aftershave, the mechanical noises coming from behind the doors and the pipes. Plus, I’m naked. But I’m not at all tense or frightened. In fact, I’m aroused. Yeah, I’ve got an erection. And the further I walk down the hallway, the more aroused I become. By the time I reach the door to Mr. Vincent’s workroom, my cock is throbbing, and I’m dripping pre-cum.

Mr. Vincent’s workroom is open, and a dim light spills into the hallway from it. I walk into the room and find that the door in the wall is open. Now I only saw that door the one time, and I don’t know what’s on the other side of it. So far, in my dream, everything has been like it is in real life—my apartment, the elevator, the basement corridor. But the room on the other side of the door has to come from my imagination. That’s another thing that’s upsetting me. I don’t know what dark corners of my mind are responsible for this room.

The walls of the rest of the basement—the corridors, the laundry room, Mr. Vincent’s workroom, and what little I saw of his apartment are made of concrete blocks, painted gray. But the room behind the wooden door is different. It looks much older. The walls are covered with cracked and broken plaster. In some places the plaster has fallen away, exposing walls of old brick. The mortar between the bricks is crumbling. The ceiling is two or three feet lower than in the rest of the basement. Wooden beams, black with age, are barely visible in the dim light from the naked bulbs that hang beneath two round metal fixtures. The floor is made of concrete broken into uneven segments. Rivers of patches snake across it. Unlike the floor in the hallway, the floor in the room is covered with grit and it’s really cold. My first few steps into the room leave my feet feeling dirty and icy. The room is about fifteen feet wide by twenty feet long. The smell of Mr. Vincent’s aftershave is strong, but even it doesn’t completely mask an odor of dank mildew and long-standing water.

The room is empty except for an old metal bed pushed against the wall opposite the door. There’s no headboard. Each leg is topped with a knob that extends a couple of inches above the mattress. Metal rods run between the legs to form the frame. The mattress is old and thin and rests on a platform of interlocking springs. There is no sheet, and the cloth covering the mattress is torn in places.

In the dream I enter the room and sit down on the bed. It sags beneath my weight, and the springs creak and protest. After a minute or so, the door closes and I hear the padlock snap shut. I’m locked in. Then the lights in the room go out. The only illumination comes through the cracks between the boards in the wooden door. I can hear someone moving about in the outer room. I think it’s Mr. Vincent. Whoever it is, his shadow blocks the light from time to time. Eventually he leaves. He turns out the light in the work room and closes the door. I’m in complete darkness.

It’s cold and it’s damp. I start shaking. I know something awful is about to happen. Sometimes I think I’ll be forgotten and left to die in the room. Other times I’m sure I’m about to be raped. I get more and more frightened. And excited. That’s the odd thing about the dream. My need to enter the room is overwhelming, even though I know I’m going to be locked in and left in the dark. I rush into the room. I know that something will eventually happen to me in the room, and I worried about that, but I’m also aroused. It’s like I enjoy being imprisoned and threatened. Eventually I wake up, in my own bed, but the fright and the excitement lingers on. It’s usually about four in the morning by that time. I can’t get back to sleep. I’m so disturbed. So I get up. I’m not getting enough sleep, and I think that’s contributing to the way I feel.

There are lots of things I find disturbing about the dream. I don’t understand why I have it every night. I don’t understand why I obey the command to go to the basement or why I’m so happy to do so. Another thing that disturbs me is that it’s my mind that’s creating the dream. I’ve never thought much about imprisonment—of course, it would be horrible to be in prison. We all know that, but I don’t have a phobia about it. At least, I don’t think I do. I’m not worried that I’m going to be put in jail, yet every night I get locked in the room. No, that’s wrong. I’m avoiding saying what really happens. Every night I lock myself in the room. This dungeon apparently comes from my psyche. No, not apparently. “Apparently” is another weasel word. I’m trying to deny my responsibility for the dream. This exercise in confronting my phobia isn’t going to work if I don’t face up to the fact that it’s my mind that’s creating the dream. The dungeon comes from my mind. The room and its contents come from my mind. What happens comes from my mind. It’s all in my mind. Even the word “dungeon.” It’s not a dungeon. It’s not. It’s just a room, A room with an old metal bed. Nothing more.

Lately the dream has been getting worse. The first time I dreamed about the room—the first time I can remember—I walked down the hallway calmly. I knew nothing of what awaited me at the end of my stroll, and I hadn’t as yet learned to fear. It’s more like I’m curious.

I walk down the hallway. I can see a faint light coming from the door to Mr. Vincent’s workroom. I know he’s been around recently because the smell of his aftershave is so strong. I step carefully, putting my feet down so that I don’t make a sound. I don’t quite know why. I just have this feeling that I shouldn’t let anyone know that I’m there. I’m trespassing, and I don’t want to be caught.

I’m very aware of how my body feels. I’m holding my breath and creeping down the hallway. My muscles are sort of tense from trying to be quiet. I’m really aware of the movement of my muscles. I walk next to the left-hand wall of the corridor, in the half-shadows outside the light coming from above. I can feel my cock swaying from side to side, the way it does when I’m not wearing briefs. Oddly enough, I’m more worried about Mr. Vincent discovering me in his basement than in his finding me naked and aroused.

When I reach the door to the workroom, I stop and peek around the corner of the door frame. The light’s not coming from the overhead light, but from the room behind the wooden door. The wooden door is only about half open and the light is very dim. I listen carefully for a minute. But Mr. Vincent’s not in the room. Somehow I know that. So I step into his workroom and walk over to the wooden door. That’s when I see it for the first time. I stand there for five-ten minutes taking stock of what’s in it. Then I go in and walk around. I’m touching the bed, the walls.

I can’t make much sense of the room. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen anything like it. Why would anyone put an old bed in a room like that? What purpose does the room serve? It’s just wasted space. Mr. Vincent could use it for a storeroom. It would give him more space in his work room.

So that was the dream in the beginning. Just me wandering around the room behind the wooden door and touching things. I don’t know how long I kept having this version of the dream—a couple of weeks maybe. As I said before, I think I was having the dream long before I became consciously aware that I was having the dream every night.

If the dream had never amounted to more than that, it would have been just a curiosity. But then it changed. That’s when I began sitting down on the bed and being locked in. Then the man appears. One night I pound on the door to get the man’s attention, begging him to let me out. He doesn’t say anything. I look through the cracks in the door, but they’re so narrow that I can only catch glimpses of bits of his body. It’s Mr. Vincent. I’m sure of that. I call him by name, but he doesn’t respond. He’s naked—at least in the parts I can see, he’s not wearing any clothes. His body, at least what I can see of it, is really well-muscled and smooth. He’s doing something at the work bench, making something. Somehow I know it’s meant for me. He’s making something of metal. I can tell because of the sound it makes as he’s working on it. He works for about an hour or so every night and then he leaves, turning out the lights in the work room and locking the outer door. I’m really curious about what he’s making for me. I don’t know how I know that the object he’s making is for me. I just do.

In the dream, I’m fascinated by the brief glimpses I see of Mr. Vincent’s body. He is so muscular and strong. I can never see all of his body at once, just bits and pieces of it. One night as I’m peering through the cracks between the slats of the door, he’s standing so that I can see his cock. His groin is completely hairless. That might be why his cock looks so large. He’s uncut, and the tip of the head protrudes from the foreskin. He’s got really low-hanging balls, and they swing back and forth as he works. Every night now I hope I get to see his cock and balls. I have these fantasies about lying on the bed and having him kneel over my face and slowly let his balls drape themselves across my nose and over my eyes. Then he feeds me his cock and I suck on it slowly. Or he rubs his cock over my face and body. I kneel at the door, twisting my head to get the best view I can of Mr. Vincent. My hands are playing with my nipples and my cock as I dream about him. Sometime he moves close to the door, and I can feel the heat from his body assaulting me through the cracks.

I do not know how long the dream continues. As always, I wake up from the dream in my own bed. I never dream about leaving the room behind the wooden door and returning to my apartment. The dream dissipates, and I slowly awake to the need to have an orgasm. I’m scared and my heart is racing, but I have this overwhelming need to have an orgasm. It takes only a few strokes of my hand to cum.

Last Friday I met Mr. Vincent in the elevator. That’s the first time I’ve seen him in person since the day I moved in and went down to the basement to get a key to my mailbox. That’s another odd thing. Like I said earlier, I know he’s in the building because I can see the results of his work and smell his aftershave, but I never see him. So last Friday, I’m coming home from work. When the elevator arrives, Mr. Vincent is inside. A tool box is on the floor next to him. He nods at me and says, “Brad.”

My heart skips a beat, and I step away from the elevator. I’m sort of taken aback when I see him. I think I even gasp. Like I said, I never encounter anyone else in the building. There’s never anyone in the elevator. There’s never anyone using the laundry room when I’m there. I never see another person in the lobby or the hallways. I’ve kind of gotten used to being the only person around. Anyway, Mr. Vincent gives me this odd look and moves over. He must sense my surprise. “It’s all right,” he says. “I’m just going to the seventh floor.” And then he makes this motion with his left hand, like he’s inviting me to step in.

So I get in. But then I do an odd thing. You know how when you get in an elevator, you usually stand as far away from the other passengers as you can. But I don’t want to do that. I stand right next to Mr. Vincent. I can feel the heat from his body, and it makes me feel warm and good. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I picture the molecules of his aftershave entering my lungs and then spreading throughout my entire body. I want him to . . . well, I want him to put his arms around me. I want that so much that I can almost feel his arms around my shoulders. And then the elevator stops at the seventh floor. Mr. Vincent bends over and picks up his toolbox. “See ya,” he says and leaves.

The doors close, and the elevator starts moving up again. I’m left with this feeling of emptiness.

But that’s not all. When the elevator doors opened and I saw Mr. Vincent standing there, my eyes immediately focused on his groin. He was wearing tight jeans, and there’s this big bulge over his cock and balls. When I’m standing beside him, I’m looking down at that bulge. When he gets off, it’s his ass that grabs my attention. His jeans are so tight, I can see his glutes rise and fall as he walks. By the time the doors close, I’ve got a hard-on. I can’t think about anything but Mr. Vincent. I start rubbing myself. I can’t help it. Even before I reach the door to my apartment, I’m unzipping my pants and reaching for my cock. When I get inside, I close the door and drop my briefcase. Then I grab my cock with both hands and jerk off. I come within a few seconds and let out this big shout.

As soon as I’m finished, I’m thinking about Mr. Vincent again. I’m still hard. I maneuver my arms out of my suit jacket and kick off my shoes and pants. I pull off my tie and nearly tear the buttons on my shirt off in my hurry to get naked. Then I kneel down on the hallway floor and start jerking off again. All I can think about is those hard glutes clenching and unclenching as he thrusts his big cock into me. When I finally cum, I pitch forward onto the floor and lie there. My muscles were so tensed up and taut by the time I came that it feels like I’ve torn a few ligaments. But I don’t care. I can feel a pool of wet sticky cum beneath my groin, and I rub my cock in it.

I lie there imagining myself sucking Mr. Vincent off. He pulls out at the last moment and shoots his cum all over my face. It drips down my chest. I scoop it up with my fingers and lick them clean. I want to be covered in Mr. Vincent’s cum.

That night I finally see what the man in the workroom is making. Usually his body blocks my view of the work bench, but that night he moved out of the way for a few seconds. Whatever he’s working on gleams in the light. By moving my head back and forth, I was able to see most of it through the cracks in the door. He’s attaching metal cuffs to the ends of a chain. The chain isn’t very long, maybe eighteen inches at most, but the links are thick and heavy. The cuffs are three-four inches in diameter, and about an inch high. The chain and the cuffs are coated with chrome. There is a vertical band of white in the chrome, and I realize it’s a reflection of the white wooden door. The man leaves the workroom and turns out the lights. I’m left in darkness again.

The next night the cuffs are lying on the bed when I arrive in the room. There are two sets of chains and cuffs. Each set is stretched out to its full length. I pick one set of cuffs up. The weight surprises me. It is very heavy. And cold. I put it back on the bed and arrange it as before. I stare at the cuffs. I know they are for me. I know that I am supposed to put them on. I don’t know how long I stand there staring at them. It’s like the sight of them is draining my mind of all thoughts except my growing need to put them on.

I sit down on the bed and cross my right ankle over my left knee. I pull one of the chains over and wrap a cuff around my ankle. The metal is cold and heavy. I snap the cuff shut. I put my foot on the floor and the cuff slides down to the knobs of the ankle bones. I bend over and attach the other cuff to my left ankle. I put the other set of cuffs around my wrists. Then I lie back on the bed and close my eyes. The chain connecting the wrist cuffs lies across my stomach. I breathe in and out slowly, savoring the weight of the chain. The door to the inner room is still open. I know that Mr. Vincent is standing in the workroom watching me through the open door.

That thought comforts me. I don’t know why. It’s like the whys and the wherefores are no longer my concern. I don’t have to worry about them. I’ve given up control. What’s going to happen will happen. I don’t have a choice. That loss of freedom is strangely liberating. By taking on the weight of the chains and the cuffs, I have cast off the weight of responsibility. I have surrendered.

The dream has been the same for the past four days. I get the phone call. I go to the basement. I walk down the hallway. The workroom door is open. I go into the inner room. I sit down on the bed and put on the chains. I lie back and close my eyes and give myself up to Mr. Vincent.

The chains aren’t an S&M thing. It’s more like they’re symbols of my acceptance of the situation, like I’ve surrendered to Mr. Vincent, like I want him to be my keeper.

I’m so passive and accepting. That worries me. I haven’t been able to go to work this week. I’ve called in sick. I couldn’t get any work done if I did go in. All I can think about is the dream. I’m thinking of quitting and leaving Boston to get away from the dream and Mr. Vincent. But I’m also fascinated by the dream and by Mr. Vincent. I don’t want it but I do, if you get what I mean. He’s all that I can think about. I need him.

That’s all I wrote in my attempt to deal with my fear of the basement. I don’t think I own my fears. I don’t know that I want to own my fears.

I’m doing my laundry now. At least that’s why I came to the basement. Writing about my phobia helped a bit. I’m still frightened, but it’s not so bad tonight.

When I get off the elevator, I look down the hallway and see that the door to the workroom is open. There’s a faint light coming through the open doorway. The smell of Mr. Vincent’s aftershave is very strong tonight. It’s like my dream.

I set my laundry basket on the table in the laundry room. I’m wearing a T-shirt and a pair of old sweatpants. They were practically the only clean clothes I had left. It’s been almost a month since I last came down to the basement to do my laundry.

I pull the T-shirt over my head and throw it in the laundry basket. I take off the sweatpants and my briefs and drop them on the floor. I step out of my flip-flops. The cement floor is cold beneath my feet.

My cock stirs.

I walk out of the laundry room, naked. As I move down the corridor, I can hear Mr. Vincent in the workroom. I walk faster.